Friday, May 22, 2009

Baby Blues?

Last night my SIL called and told Hubby that we needed to go out for dinner-- and we did. It was nice to get out of stale atmosphere and to have some down-time. What was frustrating is that I still couldn't snap out of it. I'm NOT by nature a negative person. I just feel... tired? I don't know if that's even the word for it!

I HAVE been wondering if the fact that I've had a bad day every day for almost two weeks might have something to do with my pregnancy. I have trouble catching my breath a lot and I've had dizzy spells where I've almost fainted. When it's hot I get swollen and puffed-up and I get a lot of contractions, every time Kasen moves. (Norm for me-- extremely 'irritable uterus') If I get stressed out I'll also have contractions, and when I get a contraction I can't breathe...

All of this, of course, is just typical of me being pregnant.

I haven't been eating well, because nothing ever sounds good to me, and then, when I do eat, I have no appetite and take a couple bites before I'm done.

I'm guessing it's 50% pregnancy and 50% summer. My body hates summer and heat.

And I DO need some resolution as far as the goats are concerned-- either they need to go or we need to find a way to fence them without Star ending up on a 10 foot tall cinder block wall (yes, happened!)

If they stay we also need a solution for the fact that they seem to think they need to 'tell' me everything all day. MAA MAA MAA MAA MAAAAAAAAddening!

The only reason why I'm hyper-analyzing this is that I really need to FIX it. I cannot face three more months of feeling like this and I cannot bear telling my kids one more day that mom just doesn't feel up to anything.

Of course, this is precisely why this is our last baby.

I guess I never should have gotten the goats, but even that thought makes me really sad. I do enjoy them, when they're behaving, and their behavioral issues are all my making. They just need to learn to be goats... not people. I have really been looking forward to having milk from them and I hate closing that door... ARGH!

It all comes down to that stupid JOB! We need a job! We need some CLUE whether we're going on to get a PH.D or if we're going the job way!!!!

Maybe THAT is the base of all of this. I'm pregnant and standing on the edge of the unknown and it's knocked me for a loop!

One more hour and half before Keith gets home. Sigh.

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