Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Laugh... Laugh... I thought I'd die...

I don't know why I have that song stuck in my head.

Things are... well, very busy right now. My typing skills are a little limited because I was ripping rags for a rag rug (yes, another project!) and my whole right thumb and first two fingers are numb-- it feels so weird! It's like trying to drink out of a cup when you've had Novocaine at the dentist.

Sunny hasn't been feeling well, so we'll see if I actually have a chance to write anything. He's VERY crabby.

On Sunday we made chore charts for the boys-- where they can be rewarded for good behavior and helping. If they get a time out, then they lose three stickers. If they go through a whole day with no time outs they get a BIG sticker-- which will lead to rewards later. This is only day two, but it's working great so far. I also have a chart, though I don't get stickers, but it helps me see in a glance what needs to get done-- which is a LOT.

Today I've made a big breakfast (oatmeal, hash browns, and eggs), folded, and put away, three loads of laundry, put another two loads IN, one of which is drying right now. Fed the chicks and bunnies, vacuumed the living room and play room, organized my boxes in the dining room and swept in there. I've prepped for dinner, and loaded the dishwasher.

BUT... I still have so much to do! Watering plants, I need to wash the whole upstairs and help Drew clean his room, which is a big mess.

And this is just for today. You super moms out there have my respect-- I am TIRED!

There has been so much stuff going on around us, continually. We've really pulled together in our marriage and family, though, taking refuge in our relationships from the storms around us.

The semester is coming to an end and Evan has tons of presentations and papers due. Around the 19th of May he'll be switching from his job to his internship for the summer. Hopefully he'll get his regular job back in August!

Yes, we have a ton going on right now, and I've really been struggling, but I'm just taking one step at a time and keeping my head as clear as I can. Once I wean Sunny I can change medications, as this one can be problematic when certain symptoms are intensified.

Depression is not just s disease-- it's a temptation-- it's so easy to sink into it, to wallow, and drown, and just lay down and let it take over. It's so easy to just let my mind play negativity over and over again, smashing myself and cutting me to the quick-- but I can't allow that. I pray, and make projects, and talk to my hunny, and I know I'll survive.

If you've ever read the Alvin Maker books, by Orson Scott Card, he describes his need to Make something when the Un-Maker is about-- that's how I feel! So that's why I do projects!

I planted eight trees yesterday in 5 gallon pots. All fruit trees. I love my plants!


MandaMommy said...

I know exactly what you mean about cleaning up! Isn't it so frustrating to see this HUGE list of all you've accomplished in a day (some days more than others...) and still know that in order to feel like you've completed everything there would have to be about 10 of you working simultaneously all day long? (1 for each kid and 8 to clean up after everyone) And THEN on top of that, there are SOOOOO many more things you need/want to do besides just cleaning cleaning cleaning all day long.

BTW, your list of what you accomplished today is quite impressive. I don't know how you even do that much. I really really applaud you for staying sane. Managing a house with 2 young kids and an absent husband is tough! (At least *I* think it is.)

Jami Fergie said...

Hi Bonnie! This is Jami Waldron (Fergie). How are you!? I love that you have a blog! I have one too! It's planetcrazyfergies.blogspot.com. So how have you been? Where do you live? What have you been up to? I see you have gorgeous children!

Martie said...

Mom work is tremendously exhausting and never-ending. It's a good thing there are so many rewards.

Good job!