Recently we took a leap of faith, when we felt the prompting that we should stay in this house, regardless of the fact that it will cost us twice as much to be here as the alternative we were facing. It was a tough decision, and one not made lightly, but we moved forward in faith, even telling the alternative housing people to go ahead and put their house on the market instead, even before we knew we'd be able to stay.
The same day we made that commitment we heard from our landlords saying we could stay.
It's been very stressful. I hate not knowing what we're doing. I like to plan ahead, and I never change plans midstream, especially to one that, on paper, looks like it's a disadvantage. In the long term I'm sure this is the right decision, but it means tightening our belts and living very very frugally right now-- no extras at all. We can do it, of course, and, as I mention in my last post, just about the whole world has it worse than us.
I've been trying to just plow ahead. I've been feeling ill for a couple weeks now, as my inability to consume most foods that contain iron (grains and legumes) has really drained my system and caught up with me in a serious way. I've had moments where I've gotten dizzy and all I can do is lie down on the floor and wait for it to pass-- even if I'm holding Sunny and trying to get something done.
BUT we've been incredibly blessed for this "pressing-on". I'm sure the pioneers felt many days like they could not take another step, but they forced themselves on and on and on... sometimes it feels like that's what we're doing.
The blessings we've received for acting on our faith are very tangible. Yesterday I sold my geese and my spinning wheel-- bringing in about $400 for our family.
That's what the extra rent is.
I'm not saying it's any easier, and I don't seeing things getting simpler in the near future, but I know that we are blessed and we are growing, and we are doing all we can TOGETHER to keep our lives heading in the right direction.