Wednesday, April 23, 2008

... and the Camel's Back Broke

About two months ago we realized that someone's pet rat had escaped and was living in our backyard.

Last night it slaughtered 7 of my chicks. All pullets-- no cockerels.

This morning I found my dead little babies stuffed inside its hole, including Drew's very favorite chicken, Turtle.

My landlords called.

I'm a horrible housekeeper. The chickens have to go. I really need to keep up with the house better. (That was based on what the house looked like after we spent a whole week scrubbing it.)

I'm a horrible person.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I just want to go AWAY.

Why is it that everything I touch is a complete disaster? I'm a horrible person,a horrible mom, a horrible housekeeper, a horrible EVERYTHING.

Why am I the only person in the universe that can't seem to do this? Why is it so hard for me to get things clean and keep them that way? Why am I so TIRED just trying to breathe??????????

I hate this.

I hate me.


MandaMommy said...

AAAHH! I'm so sorry that things stacked up that way! And that either happened at all... :o( What you need is a 'dwink' to help you feel better.

The Reeves said...

IN....OUT....IN.....OUT...I hate when everything seems to he going downhill. You want to scream - Give Me a Break, PLEASE! Just remember there is a reason for everything, it will be okay.

Real said...

Trust me. You aren't the only one in the universe who can't get things clean and keep it that way. There are at least two of us.

"Sometimes the victory is that you just keep trying." That's what I try and tell myself when I feel that way. I try to tell myself it's okay that I'm not "there" yet. But if I wake up again in the morning and have another go at it, that's better than doing nothing and I'll be blessed.

((hugs))Sorry about your chickens. Grieving adds to the general overwhelmedness.

Real said...

Hey, Eloise! How are you doing today? I tried to email you but your email address was only saved on my broken computer. So this is the best I can do! Anyway, I'm thinking of you and hoping you are feeling better about things.