Thursday, January 28, 2010

Illness and School...

When I was younger I was sick a lot (ok, I still get sick a lot). I would get sick, and then miss a significant chunk of school and then get all nervous and scared and not want to go back. I ended up hating school in general, because going back and being behind was so hard.

I'm bringing this up because Kevin has been sick for a long time. He was in school Monday, but the DR. said we had sent him back too early. So he missed Tuesday and Wednesday.

Today we sent him back to school, sobbing his heart out. He was trying so hard to be brave, but you could tell he was terrified. I told him he could call me, but it didn't help because he, like me, would never ask his teacher to let him talk to his mom.

That boy is too much like me.

Kevin says that he wants to be homeschooled, but I don't really believe him. He loves the kindergarten concerts and presentations, he loves knowing things, and he really has thrived there. It's just that horrible feeling of going back to school and realizing you missed things. I wish we hadn't had to keep him home, but it's not exactly fair to everyone else, especially him, to send a child with a fever to school!

I hate it, because I know he's not just being dramatic. I remember so well how that feels-- the horrible butterflies in my stomach and shaking. I was truly terrified and I could never explain to anyone why I felt the way I did. And now I am putting Kevin through the same thing. It breaks my heart... BUT I want to do what's best for him. I don't think showing him that he can quit is a healthy thing.

So, Kevin went sobbing on his way to school today, held on Daddy's shoulder, trying so hard to stifle his tears, but they would come anyway. And each tear honestly broke my heart. I wanted to take care of him, and he didn't want to have anything to do with me. He was trying to be strong, and turning to Mommy would break it all to pieces.

I'm sure he'll come home today excited again about school. He'll have things to show me and tell me and things will get back to normal.

I hope.

2 comments:

MandaMommy said...

Good job--that must have been really hard. It's interesting but Peter and I have been realizing lately that our family (extended) has a lot of issues with anxiety (mostly brought to our attention by Ella, who has them with the best of them). We got a book, but I'm only part way through it. Tell Kevin he's awesome for going even though he was scared! We love him! (If it won't injure his pride too much.)

little mama said...

That's some of the hardest stuff in parenting. Sam is our anxious one. He's so much like me in those ways, and I'd love to know what to do about it. I mean, we have our methods, but will they help or hurt? I'm interested in Manda's book - I'd love to learn more.

How'd it go?